Knowing
by Timelord-In-Camelot
Summary: Set in 2.03 when Morgana reveals her magic to Merlin. But what will he say and how will this affect both of their futures?
1. I Know

Morgana woke suddenly, sitting bolt upright in her bed. She was cold, her skin felt clammy, sticking to the bed sheets she was clinging to. She managed to calm herself, though she didn't know how - Gwen was usually there to help her with that.

She noticed the rain coming down hard on her window, the low rumble of thunder in the distance. Her mind drifted to objects in her room: her dressing table, mirror and the beautiful flowers Merlin had brought to her after the fire. They were all different shades of purple and lilacs held in place by a vase.

She jumped, as a loud burst of thunder interupted her thoughts. She was hyper-focused on that vase. She felt a sudden rush of adrenaline course through her, her blood roaring in her ears. The vase exploded before her, sending flowers, water and porclean across her floor.

How? How had that happened? She'd been nowhere near that vase so why was it now into a thousand pieces on the floor? Or was this like the fire? When she knew she'd set that candle on fire, she was sure of it. She'd nearly burned to death then, what was going to happen this time? Would she be as lucky?

She threw the covers off of her shaking body and stumbled over to her door, fumbling for the knob.

She had no idea where she was going. But apparently her feet did, because they carried her along to Gaius' chambers.

_Of course_, she thought, Gaius knows about these sorts if things. _He _always _knows what to do. _

She'd heard rumours, whispers among the servants, that Gaius had once practiced magic. The sort of rumour that everyone knew but never let on.

_And besides_, she thought, _even if didn't practice magic, he would help her. He always knew what to do. _

She burst into the physician's chambers, the door swinging wildly behind her. She had expected to see Gaius, as he always was, reading some dusty old book or swilling something around in a tube. Something even he probably didn't know what it was.

Instead she saw Merlin, dressed in his usual red shirt, although missing his neckerchief. She swore he wore nothing else.

She looked frantically around for Gaius, but found him nowhere.

"Is Gaius here?" she asked, pretty much knowing the answer already.

"Er, no, he's not here at the moment," he stammered. What did she want at this time of night?

"Well, where is he? I need to speak with him," she almost pleaded with him.

He looked her up and down. She looked vulnerable, scared. She never looked scared.

"He's gone to see the King, he'll be back soon." He paused. "What's wrong?"

She cast her eyes downwards. Now what? How was she going to explain bursting in on him in the middle of the night without telling him what really happened?

He followed her gaze down to the floor, waitng patiently for an answer.

A minute, a minute and a half.

"You can tell me. You can trust me, Morgana." He said, the silence beginning to become unbearable.

She dragged her gaze back up to his, those brilliant blue eyes that always seemed to bore right through her, reading her.

She studied his face. He looked concerned, sad almost.

"I'm scared, Merlin." She spoke so quietly he could barely hear her. "I don't know what to believe anymore," she continued, taking a step forwards. They were inches apart.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. She was powerful. He could feel the Old Religion radiating out from her.

Her eyes searched his for a reply, he still hadn't answered her. She began to think she was making a mistake telling him this. Could she trust him? How did she know he wouldn't go straight to Arthur about this? And what about Gwen? She'd known her for years, they were like sisters, shouldn't she be the first to know?

She was getting impatient. She was tired and scared and she wanted this to be over. Tears began to build up in her eyes as their gazes locked again.

"It's magic, Merlin," she whispered, her voice cracking a little.

Something inside of him shifted, she could see it. His expression changed.

"I know."

Her gaze snapped up. She was pretty sure he'd said something, but he'd said it so dam softly she thought she'd imagined it.

"I know," he repeated awkwardly, louder this time.

_What? What was that supposed to mean? I know. Know what? That she had magic? How long for? Why had he kept this from her? Or was he just lying to keep her happy?_

"Know what?" She was desperate for answers. Did he know what was happening to her?

"I know what's it's like, because, well-"

"Well what?" She said sharply. She was fed up of this. Everyone telling her what to do, telling her that she would be okay. She wanted to know what was happening to her.

"Because... I'm..."

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Merlin watched on in agony.

"Please, Merlin," she begged him, "Please I just want to know what's going on."

She gained her composure, sniffing hard trying to keep the tears back.

"Am I going crazy?"

"No." He said simply.

"Am I dying?"

It shocked her that this thought had never occured to her before. By the look on Merlin's face, he obviously hadn't considered this either.

"No!" He choked out, his eyes wide. "What on Earth makes you think that?"

She shook her head, causing the tears to fall freely down her face.

"I don't know, I just- I don't know..." She managed her voice thick.

"Listen, Morgana. What I'm trying to say is that we're-"

"I'd be wary if I were you, Merlin. Apparently there's a thief on the loose in the lower town who managed to steal 2 pigs and a goat right under someone's nose. Uther thinks magic is being involved but-"

Gaius stopped. He looked at Merlin, who looked over at Morgana who was still crying silently, her face streaked with tears.

Merlin looked over to Gaius, who was putting his medicine bag down slowly, dragging the silence out. Morgana turned to face the old physician.

"So." He began, his voice strained, "Er, my lady." He said, bowing his head slightly. "Is everything alright?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't. She'd come so close to knowing the truth and now she would have to wait even longer.

She stumbled blindly out of the room, hot tears clouding her vision. She somehow managed to get back to her own chambers before she finally cracked, sliding down the cool wood of her door, crying herself to sleep.


	2. You Told Her What?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. If I did then mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!**

Gwen walked up the staircase to the Lady Morgana's chambers, a bunch of flowers in her hand. Her master (and friend) had been having so many sleepless nights lately and she was hoping they would cheer her up a bit. _And_, she thought, _they would look nice next to Merlin's. _

She reached the top of the staircase and reached for the door handle, giving it a gentle push. The door stubbornly stayed where it was. She frowned, giving the door another shove for good measure.

She sighed. It was probably jammed again, so she'd just have to wait for Morgana to wake up. Putting the flowers down on the floor, she turned her attention towards a small crack in the door, getting a small glimpse into Morgana's chambers.

From what she could see, which wasn't alot, Morgana wasn't in her bed, or doing her hair in the mirror. She couldn't see her anywhere.

Gwen tried not to panic.

Maybe she'd woken up early and gone for a walk? She scanned the room for her again, until her eyes settled on the shattered pieces of vase on the floor.

She panicked.

She'd heard about the thief in the lower town who'd managed to steal two pigs and a goat from under someone's nose. What if they'd gotten in here? _Because lets face it_, she thought, _the guards in Camelot were nothing special. _And what about Morgana? The broken vase could've meant a fight. Was she hurt? What if she'd been kidnapped?

She pounded at the door in a desperate attempt to open it.

"Morgana? Morgana, are you in there? Can you here me?" She yelled into door.

She heard a groan come from inside of the room and immediatly stopped her attack on the door, her ears strained.

"My lady?" She called hopefully. "Morgana are you alright?"

Morgana felt dreadful. She was tired and her eyes were sore from crying. Why was she crying again? _Oh god_, she thought, _please tell me last night never happened._ She sat up quickly, too quickly, and her room started to spin. She squeezed her eyes shut. The nausea subsided after a while and she opened her eyes.

"My lady, are you alright?" Gwen repeated.

"I'm fine," she muttered, _once you'd stopped bashing the door against the back of my head. _

She scooted herself away from the door just as Gwen nearly took it off it's hinges.

"Morgana! There you are! I was so worried! Because you know, I heard about the thief in the lower town and I thought he'd got in here because I saw the smashed vase and I thought you were hurt or you'd-What's wrong?" She babbled, noticing the lady's bloodshot eyes.

Morgana looked up, not really paying attention to anything Gwen had just said.

"What?"

Gwen sighed. "Are you alright, my lady?"

Morgana nodded, which she regretted almost instantly, as her head started to throb.

Gwen crouched down in front of her.

"Morgana, you look ill." She said quietly, concern etched on her face.

"I'm fine," she murmured, "just tired."

She was. Last night had been so draining for some reason, and her back ached from sleeping against the door.

"Did you have another nightmare?" She asked so softly that if Morgana hadn't been inches away she wouldn't have heard it.

"Yes," she lied.

"Do you want me to get Gaius?"

Her eyes widened. "No!" She blurted out.

Gwen frowned at her.

"I mean, he's probably got more severe cases than me." She said quickly.

Gwen nodded. "Maybe."

"What exactly did you tell her?" Gaius demanded.

"I didn't tell her anything." Merlin said for seemed like the hundreth time.

"So, Morgana just came in here in the middle of the night, told you she had magic and you stood there and said nothing?" Gaius yelled at him.

"Yeah." He mumbled at his feet.

"So can you run me through this conversation then?"

Merlin sighed, slumping down onto the bench where his un-eaten breakfast still sat.

"Well?"

"Morgana came in and asked for you and I said that you weren't here. Then she said that sh e was scared but she wouldn't tell me why. So I said she could trust me."

"Continue." Gaius ordered, his eyes narrowed.

"And then she said she had magic." He trailed off, his eyes roaming the floor again.

"And then what? You still said nothing?"

Merlin nodded, not wanting to look Gaius in the eye.

"Look at me and say you didn't."

Merlin brought his eyes back up to the old man's.

"I told her I knew." He said quietly.

"Knew what?" Gaius shouted at him.

Merlin stood up for he too was getting cross.

"Well I didn't get to finish because you came in and ruined everything!" He retorted angrily.

"So you were going to tell her?" His voice was dangerously low.

"Maybe."

"Even after I told you not to? You were going to disobey me and tell her anyway?"

"Yes." Merlin said calmly, before storming out of the room slamming the door behind him.


	3. Clashing in the Corridors

**Hey! I'm back! Not that you missed me. Uh, so this is Chapter 3 and I hope you enjoy it! Also thanks for all 300 views and the one review I got. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or it's characters.**

Merlin raced through the corridors, already late for work. His conversation with Gaius had dragged on for what seemed like a century. He looked down at his feet, which were probably going at the same rate as his mind.

Why was Gaius so angry? It wasn't like he'd told Morgana that she _did _have magic. He'd just mumbled something about "I know"... knew what? Oh gods, this was so confusing. Especially for Morgana, he thought, she probably hates me now for not telling her.

The servant felt like slamming his head against a brick wall. Why did he always seem to do this? Everything he did, or rather tried to do, ended up with innocent people dying, Gaius yelling at him and Arthur telling him he was the worst servant in the world.

All three of these things seemed to happen on a daily basis anyway.

The warlock shook his head in disbelief at how complicated and tiring his life had become since he'd moved to Camelot.

And then he remembered he was late for work. Again. He groaned inwardly as his pace quickened, turning abruptly round the corner and smacking into someone else.

He stumbled backwards a little, as pained flooded to his forehead. He opened his eyes to see Morgana, flat on her back on the cold, marble floor.

_Of all the people..._

"Morgana, I am so sorry!" He blurted out, rushing forwards to her.

"Wh-What?" She stammered, attempting to sit up a bit too quickly. She felt the blood drain from her face, as the room started to spin.

"Woah..."

A strong pair of hands gripped at her shoulders, as she was hauled back up to her feet. She had her eyes shut due to painful throbbing in the back of her head.

"Are you alright?"

The voice was concerned, curious. Where did she know that voice from?

The room stopped spinning, though the back of her head still had a dull ache from where it had hit the floor. She focused on a red scarf. Rough hands like a servants'.

_Oh God._

She dared herself to look up. Pale skin, high cheekbones, stunning blue eyes- Wait what?

"Morgana can you hear me?"

"Huh?" She mumbled dumbly, snapping out of her daze.

"Are you alright, my lady?" He asked again, a slight frown forming on his face.

He looks cute when he does that, Morgana noted to herself. _Hang on a minute!_

"Morgana?"

"Yeah?"

"Are. You. Okay?" He asked slowly, sounding out each word.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just hit my head." She stated simply.

"Do you want me to take you to Gaius?" Merlin inquired, praying that she wouldn't say yes.

"No I'll be fine."

"RIght well, I'd best be off then," he said simply.

She gave a slight nod, before her eyes fell on his hands which still had hold of her shoulders.

"Oh, er, sorry," he rushed slightly awkwardly, his hands falling to his sides.

A moment of silence passed between the two.

A faint "Merlin!", came from not too far away.

Merlin glanced nervously to the end of the corridor, where the voice had seemed to be coming from.

"You should go," Morgana suggested, following his gaze, "You don't want to keep Arthur waiting."

"Too late for that," Merlin said, with a slight smile. "I think I might hide in the tavern instead."

"Anyone would thin you live in-"

"MERLIN!" Arthur interrupted angrily, storming down the corridor.

"And where the hell have you been?" He demanded.

"Me? Oh, I was just, you know..." Merlin trailed off, playing the innocent.

"I have searched the entire palace for you, checked the tavern - _twice_ - and where are you actually?"

Merlin shrugged, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Lurking in the corridors, probably trying to chat up the Lady Morgana!"

Morgana blushed, she noticed a pink in Merlin's cheeks, or was his face that colour to keep from laughing?

"Why are you smiling?" Arthur frowned, his anger forgotten for the moment.

Merlin shrugged again, a small snigger escaping his lips.

Arthur turned to Morgana, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Do you see what I have to put up with?"

"What!?" Merlin spluttered, his eyes widening.

Morgana simply watched on, completely lost in the argument.

"Good, now you've stopped laughing you can get on with your chores," Arthur said, with a slight smirk.

"I've decided to be kind. All you have to do is my laundry, help me train, exercise my dogs, my chainmail needs cleaning and as it happens, so do the stables."

Merlin's shoulders slumped and he let out a groan.

"I would hate to know what my chores would be if you were being horrible," he muttered quietly, yet still loud enough for Morgana and Arthur both to hear.

Arthur glared at him. Everyone ran out of things to say.

"Come on Merlin, you're late enough already," Arthur started breaking the quiet. "Because of you I'm late for training and there's a new knight I'm supposed to be showing the ropes to."

"Great." Merlin half-whispered, false enthusiasm coating his voice.

Morgana watched as Arthur turned to glare at his servant again, before walking away and along the corridor, Merlin a few strides behind him.

Whatever Merlin was going to say to her last night, she was determind to find out.

**Soooo. There it is. Sorry it's late but I have school and it's being a pain. Rate and Review please! :)**


	4. What Plan?

"You were going to what?"

Merlin sighed, leaning back against the wall of the alcove Morgana had dragged him into, much to his surprise.

"Tell you where the druids are..." he trailed off awkwardly. The idea had seemed simple yet brilliant at the time, saying it aloud made it sound ridiculous.

"The druids?" Morgana asked slowly, as if testing to see if he was being serious or not.

He nodded, trying also to convince himself that Morgana going to the druids for help _was_ actually a good idea.

"Why the druids?"

"They help people like you! You can find out what your dreams mean!" He said in a desperate attempt to get his point across.

"So the druids can tell me whether I have magic or not?" She asked, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Merlin sighed. "I hope so."

He was tired and being pulled into an alcove and having a load of questions thrown at him was not his favourite way to start the morning. His mind wandered to the woman in front of him. He could see why any man would be willing to do anything for her. Her long, dark was braided back into a loose blait, which was resting over her shoulder. His blue eyes fell to her beautiful green ones which were already piercing into his own. He was just able to make out the outline of black rings under her eyes, that Gwen had probably tried to disguise with make-up.

"- To the forest of Asiteer to meet with the druids and then they can help me? That's the plan?"

His mind snapped out of it's daydream and back to the real world.

"Huh? Oh, what, yeah." He gabbled quickly, desperate for her not to think that he didn't care about the fact he was sending her away to people he barely knew.

"So everything I just said, that's the plan?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at him, clearly unconvinced.

"Yep." Merlin said, in an attempt to sound confident.

"Absolutely everything?" Morgana repeated, leaning forwards slightly to examine his face for lies. She watched as he gave a slight smile.

"Everything."

"Right. Well, good. I'm sorry I doubted you." She said quietly, embarrassed at her distrust in him. Guilt crept on the young servant. Morgana was convinced he'd been listening to her and not admiring her face like everyone else seemed to do.

"N-No, you don't have to apologize." He stammered.

"And I'm sorry about the whole alcove situation. I know it's not very discreet but I needed to talk to you." She went on, clearly not listening to what he'd just said.

"Look Morgana, you don't need to-," Merlin tried to cut her off.

"And, also, sorry for walking out on you the other night, it's just-"

"Morgana!"

She looked at him suddenly, startled by his interuption.

"You need to stop apologizing! You've nothing to say sorry for!"

A small smile crept along her face as she stared down at her shoes.

"Sorry."

Merlin let out a small chuckle and she repeated the action ,at the realization of her own words.

"Anyway. About tonight. Should I come to your room at about nine?" She asked.

Merlin's smile was slapped right off of his face. He tried hiding his shocked expression from her. It didn't seem to be working.

"Merlin? I can come earlier or later, I dont mind."

"N-No. Uh, nine sounds... good." He managed to choke out.

"Okay, well I'll see you then." She stated, her face the picture of confusion.

"Yep. Okay, Good."

She thanked him, before stepping out from the alcove and walking away. Merlin's shoulders slumped and he let out a huff of air. What on _earth_ had he just agreed to?


	5. Walking

**Chaper 5! I actually had this written by Wednesday, but procastination got hold of me and I couldn't be bothered to start typing this until today. So, here's the next one and I hope you like it...(but you probably won't, hehe). THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reviews that made my day! You guys are the best! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. **

Merlin stared at his soup. He felt sick with nerves. First of all, the Lady Morgana was coming to his chambers tonight for a reason he didn't sure know. Secondly, he would have to make sure Gaius wasn't here when she arrived because Gaius would ask questions, he wouldn't have any answers and Morgana would hate him for lying to her earlier. Thirdly-

"Something in your soup, Merlin?"

He glanced up at Gaius who was frowning at him over the rim of his spectacles.

"Um, no." Merlin said simply.

"Anything the matter?"

"Just thinking," Merlin muttered, as he continued prodding a lump of something in his soup with the end of his spoon.

"Heaven forbid," Gaius sighed with slight smile. Merlin rolled his eyes before they returned back to his supper.

"You're not feeling ill are you?" The old man pressed on.

"No."

An idea struck him.

"But you know who is? Toby Dickinson? You know, the new stall owner from the lower town? Well, I bumped into him today and he said he's had a really bad stoumach ache all week and he's got a temperature."

Merlin paused for a moment, letting that information sink in

"And, erm, well I told him that you would go and pay him a quick visit to check if it's serious or not."

Gaius glanced at him suspiciously. "Okay."

"Tonight?" Merlin pushed, maybe a bit too far.

Gaius knew him better than he knew himself most days, surely he'd see right through this silly story.

"Right."

"At about nine?" Now he really was pushing his luck.

Gaius's eyes narrowed. "Why nine?"

Merlin was stupmed.

"Uh...because he closes his stall at half past eight," Merlin lied quickly.

"That's a bit late to be closing his stall isn't it? Especially if he's ill."

"Well, you know Toby!" Merlin laughed nervously. "He's a hard worker!"

Gaius arched an eyebrow at him.

"You've met him once."

"He seemed like a nice guy..." Merlin trailed off.

The old physician sighed. "Well, I've nothing better to do this evening, so I may as well."

The young sorcerer let out a huge sigh of relief as Gaius got up from the table and began to ready his medical bag.

"Will you be alright on your own?" Gaius called back, as he reached for the door handle.

_Who said anything about being alone, _Merlin thought to himself. "I'm not five Gaius!"

Gaius let out a small chuckle as he shut the door behind him. Merlin waited until he could no longer hear footsteps and slumped back in his chair, breathing a huge sigh of relief. Problem number two was solved. Now all he had to do was try his best to go along with whatever plan he had unknowingly agreed to earlier that day.

He sighed and began eating the rest of his soup before it went cold.

Five, ten, fifteen whole minutes had passed since Gaius had left. No doubt he would be back soon. Where the hell was Morgana? Was she even coming? He was starting to panic. If he was still here when Gaius got back he'd yell at him for wasting his time. What if Morgana decided to make an appearance just before Gaius got back? That could take some explaining, Merlin thought as he tried to calm his mind.

Another five minutes. He began pacing. He stopped. Why didn't he just go and meet Morgana in her room? Then there would be no risks, no danger of getting caught or shouted at by Gaius. He nodded. This is what he should've done ten minutes ago! He reached for the door, only to find someone on the other side of it.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" A very flustered Morgana told him a she walked straight past him, into the room and sat down on the bench.

"It's... okay." Merlin said, shutting the door again.

It's just that Gwen got into this really boring conversation about this ball that's apparently coming up and I couldn't get away. Sorry." She gabbled quickly, her face slightly pinker than usual from walking fast.

"No. No, it's okay." Merlin said softlty.

She smiled briefly at him, before rising to her feet again.

"So, are you ready?" She asked him, almost excitedly.

"Uh yeah." Ready for what? "So, erm, just go through the plan again with me, just so I know that you know."

"RIght. We go to the Forest of Asiteer to find the druids who can help me find out who I really am. Correct?"

_We._ She thought he was going with her. Oh God, now what? He supposed he had to go with her now, he couldn't let her down like this.

"So, am I correct?"

"Oh, yep. 100%."

She beamed at him. "Well, let's go then!"

"Let's go," he repeated as he reached for his jacket and closed the door behind them both.

They walked fast. Despite it being the summer, it still got surprisingly cold at night and Merlin was beginning to wish he had a bigger jacket. The leaves crunched under foot as they walked. He was slightly surprised by the fact that Morgana was walking ahead of him, but he thought that was down to the fact that she was so desperate to find out who she was.

He kicked at the leaves. He felt ashamed that he could've told her himself and now he was putting them both in danger.

"Which way now?" Morgana asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. She'd stopped in front of two paths that split off from their original one.

"Left," Merlin decided.

Morgana continued a few steps along the left path.

"No, right." Merlin frowned.

She turned back to face him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

She nodded and set off down the rigth path. She didn't get very far.

"No! No, it's left!" Merlin exclaimed from behind her.

She rolled her eyes before walking back to him, muttering something about her thinking he knnew where he was going under her breath.

"Are you completely, absolutely sure?" She huffed at him.

He grinned, pleased with his decision. "Completely, absolutely sure."

She sent him a warning glance at his slight impression of her, the same look he'd seen her give Arthur a few times.

He gestured a hand forwards. "After you."

He felt like they'd been walking for hours. Maybe they had. How far away could this Druid Camp be? Floridel had said the left path hadn't she? It was getting dark too, what if they got lost? What if they _were _lost? He felt like smashing his head against a tree. He couldn't concentrate properly, he was tired from sleepless nights worrying about Morgana, not that he'd tell her, of course. Even Morgana's pace had slowed since they'd started their journey, her shoulders slumped a little.

"We should rest," he suggested, after a few more minutes of walking.

"No, we have to keep going. It won't take Uther long to realise I'm gone. He'll probably send out a search party tommorrow," she said sadly.

Silence passed over their disagreement.

Another hour of walking.

Morgana felt helpless. She was alone (well, she had Merlin) in a place she'd never been before, she was cold, tired and pretty sure they were lost. She felt tears spring to her eyes for what seemed like the hundreth time that week. She had to stop being so weak and concentrate on the druids and what she wanted to ask them.

But she couldn't. In this moment, all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep. But she was determidn not to give in. Besides, she'd look a real idiot in front of Merlin now if she told him she wanted to rest.

"Look, Morgana, I really think we should rest," Merlin said tiredly, interrupting her thoughts.

She could've kissed the god damn serving boy. But she hugged him instead.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Merlin had no idea what to do or what Morgana was on about.

"Uh, you're welcome?"

She stepped from him, her eyes lowered in embarrassment at her own actions.

"Do you want me to go and get some firewood?" He offered. He'd noticed the temperature of her thin body when she'd hugged him. When she'd _hugged _him. He smiled at the thought of it.

"If you want to," Morgana murmured sleepily, as she practically fell against the nearest tree and leant back against it.

He gave a light chuckle. "Okay then."

He was careful not to got too far in case he lost sight of her. He returned a few minutes later with a small pile of logs in his arms to find Morgana already asleep. He sighed and smiled fondly at her, before setting the wood down quietly at his feet. Now what? He could barely even light a fire in the _daylight _by himself...

Should he even dare to use magic? Right in front of her? But trying to light it with his own hands would take time and make noise. She looked so peaceful now, he'd hate to wake her. But what if she did see him? Surely she'd never forgive him then? He sat back a little, his eyes flickering between Morgana and the pile of logs in front of him. He sighed.

"Forbearne!" He whispered as quickly and quietly as he could, constantly keeping his eyes on Morgana who, thank God, remained asleep.

Flames began to flicker close to his fingertips and he relaxed back to his own tree, oposite Morgana. He had to stay awake. Had to keep watch over her. She was his responsibility now, it was his idea to come here, so he was going to look after her.

**Taa-daa! Bit boring I know, but we got... a hug. Wow. While everyone else has got them kissing in the first two chapters, I'm here giving them a hug. I'm so kind. :/ **


	6. In The Night

**Chapter 6? I think it is. Anway. Sorry I haven't updated sooner but I was in London for the weekend, which is when I was going to upload. Erm, yeah. Not one of my best chapters I think, but hey. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. **

The castle was ruined. Turrets were smashed in, smoke billowing out from them as flames licked through the bricks. It was night, yet she could see everything, because of the fire and the torches. She wished she couldn't see anything at all. There were bodies, hundreds of them, thrown like a blanket over the bloodied cobblestones of the courtyard. Morgana recognised some of the faces on the bodies, mainly Camelot knights that usually tried her eye at the feast. Although, there were many bodies of women and children, all lifeless on the floor.

She felt sick, right to the core. She couldn't move, she was frozen to the spot, forced to watch the scene that unfolded before her. She tried to look away, but couldn't. It was compelling to watch, as yet another ball of fire was catapulted towards the castle. But it came short of it's target, instead hitting a group of a dozen or so knights, who were scattered by the blast, red capes flying out. Their bodies hit the ground.

She felt fire course through her veins, yet her skin felt cold as ice. She wanted revenge on whoever had done this. Whoever had killed her friends, destroyed her home and murdered these innocent women and children. She wanted to rip them apart until-

And then she saw herself.

Except it wasn't her. It couldn't be her. Could it? This Morgana was older, years older. She looked... different. Extremely different. Her eyes had a dangerous glint, her hair long and knotted. She was wearing, well, some sort of black dress, woven with multiple fabrics that looked as though they had been sewn back together many times.

She watched herself charge up the steps to the palace entrance, but not before a boy, who looked no older than 16, ran at her with a sword in his hand. He was a knight. Of Camelot.

Why was he running at her? She was on his side, surely?

The young knight practically threw himself at her, his sword raised high above his head. The older Morgana wasn't armed. She didn't even look scared.

She watched as her green eyes changed to gold in an instant and the knight shot away from her, his back hitting the door of the castle with a sharp crack. His body now lay there as well, lifeless, slumped against the palace entrance.

Magic. She'd just used magic to kill a boy. She'd done this. Killed all these people. Destroyed Camelot. Why? Why would she do that?

The older Morgana disappeared into the castle, simply walking past the boy she'd just killed.

But she was no longer looking at her older self, but at a huge black beast that was running towards her, it's sharp, yellowy teeth bared. She couldn't move. Couldn't defend herself. Couldn't cry for help. The massive dog-like beast was nearly upon her, it's huge black paws pounding into floor, sending vibrations through her body. It was 15,10,5 metres away. All she could see now were it's ragged claws that could easily rip her apart with one blow. The beast loomed over her, before it's great teeth came down to sink into her body.

Morgana screamed herself awake, her cry echoing through the forest. She sat up suddenly, gasping for air, she looked around in terror expecting to see the beast again. Except she saw Merlin, who was rapidly making his way over to her. His face was white as a ghost, his eyes wide and he looked on in fear upon hearing her scream. Her heart was thumping so loudly against her chest, Morgana wouldn't have been surprised if they could hear the eratic pounding back in Camelot.

She watched as Merlin crouched down in front of her.

Gently, he took her face in his hands, wiping tears from her cheeks she hadn't even known existed until now.

"Are you hurt?"

She shook her head slowly, gazing into space.

"Did you have a nightmare?" He whispered softly. Morgana turned her eyes back to him, he looked sad almost, his eyes full of concern. She nodded, her lips clamped awkwardly together to stop a sob from escaping them. An uncomfortable lump formed in her throat.

"Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

Morgana shook her head again.

He removed his hands from her cheeks, placing them on her hands instead.

"You're freezing," he said urgently, beginning to take off his jacket. Merlin tried wrapping it around her shoulders, but she refused the extra layer.

"No, it's okay, I'm not that cold," she lied, pushing the jacket back to him. He gave her a we-both-know-you're-cold-so-take-the-jacket-and-stop-being-so-stubborn look. Reluctantly, she took the jacket from his hands. She slipped it around her tense shoulders, which instantly seemed to relax from the warmth of the material. She let out a small sigh of content, before wiping old tears from her eyes.

"Better?"

She nodded. "Much better, thank you."

Merlin smiled fondly at her. "You're welcome. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure," she said, unable to get the image of her older self or the beast out of her mind.

"But your nightmare-"

"I'm fine!" She snapped, not wanting to think about it anymore. Morgana watched hurt spread across his face. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm just tired and... scared."

Merlin nodded. "Whatever happened in your dream, you can tell me you know, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

How could he always be like this? So kind and forgiving and understanding?

"You should try and go back to sleep," Merlin encouraged, "get some rest."

She shook her head violently.

"Why not?" He asked softly.

"I know it's silly, but I get scared that if I go back to sleep I'll have the same nightmare," she said quietly, fiddling with one of the cuffs on the jacket.

"Well, what do you do in Camelot, then? Just lie there until morning?" He frowned, maybe that's why she always looked so tired?

"No... it's just that Gwen, sometimes she comforts me."

Merlin looked at her expectantly. "And? How does she do that?"

"Well, she just hugs me really... and that helps."

"Do you want me to, um, hug you then?"

Her cheeks flushed red. "No! No, it's okay you don't have to!" She rushed, before her eyes turned back to the jacket.

"Because I would. If you wanted me to."

Morgana looked up and nodded, her cheeks still tinged red. "Would you... mind?"

He said nothing, just walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, sitting down next to her. She adjusted her body to his, making herself more comfortable. How the hell could he be so warm?

"You should eat more," he said quietly after a while, "Maybe then you wouldn't get so cold. He looked down at her for a response, but there wasn't one, for she was already asleep, her head rested against his shoulder.


	7. Talking

**Next one and sorry it's late! Oh my gosh, thank you for all the lovely reviews, follows and favourites! They make my day! Er, yeah so this is Chapter 7, a bit of banter (and flirting? I don't know, you decide.) Only a few more chapters to go I think, then you won't have to read this drivel any longer :D **

**Oh, and thank God Obama got re-elected, eh? (Sorry if you supported Romney...) I'm British, but I care more about the choice of President than Prime Minister :D. **

**(Does anyone actually read this little note at the start, or am I just talking to myself?)**

**Probably. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. Hmph.**

Merlin chuckled to himself as Morgana continued to snore softly into his shirt. He rested his head back against the rough bark of the tree, as the first few rays of sunlight began to emerge over the horizon. He hated to wake her, but they'd have to get going soon, if they wanted to find the druids before Uther found _them. _

A loud snort interupted him from his thoughts and Merlin was unable to stop himself from laughing. There he was, sat in the middle of the forest with the Lady Morgana snoring into his neck. She stirred from his movements and looked up at him, squinting slightly in the new light.

"What's so funny?" Morgana frowned at him, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"You." Merlin said, trying to surpress another laugh.

"Me?" She sat up.

"Yes, you. Snoring away like a good 'un."

"I do not snore!" She yelled defiantly at him, waving her arms in the air as a gesture of some sort.

"No? Must be some wild pigs around here then." Merlin said cheekily, a grin spreading across his face.

She stared at him, open-mouthed, before slapping his shoulder with the palm of her hand.

"I do not snore!" She repeated, her voice high in denial. The laughter died down and with her point seemingly made, Morgana sat back against the tree. They sat in silence.

"Thank you." She said, after a while.

He turned to her. "For what? Saying you snore?"

"No, last night." She said quietly, refusing to make eye contact.

"Oh." Merlin was unsure of what to say. "You're welcome?"

"I'm sorry if it was a bit awkward for you." Morgana apologised, her cheeks a little pinker than usual.

"Why would it be awkward?" He asked, but she still wouldn't look at him.

"Well, because I don't normally ask a servant to hug me in the middle of the night."

"Oh, yeah." Merlin was slightly disappointed by the term 'servant' and not something like 'friend'. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded slowly.

"No more nightmares?"

"No more nightmares," she replied vaguely.

"We should get going," Merlin said, after a few more minutes of silence.

"And where do you propose we 'go', exactly?"

"Back to where we split off from the main path. Except this time we go down the right path."

"Good plan," she agreed.

As Merlin helped her to her feet, she felt something slide off of her shoulders. His surprisingly thick, brown jacket that she had been wearing had fallen to the floor. She'd completely forgotten she'd had it on.

Merlin bent down and scooped up the material before handing it out to her again.

Her eyes widened a little. "No! No, it's yours, I don't need it any more."

Merlin raised an eyebrow at her and Morgana felt the jacket being wrapped around her again.

"Thank you," she said quietly, secretly embarrassed that she hadn't worn something more practical than a long, red dress.

"Welcome," Merlin said, as he began walking.

Morgana was surprised by the fact that it only took them about an hour to get back to the main path, but maybe that was down to the fact that they'd had rest and could actually see where they were going now. After taking in the familiar surroundings of the path, they ventured cautiously down the right lane, as though someone, or _something,_ might jump out at them.

"Aren't there supposed to be serkets in these woods?" Morgana asked him, as they journyed deeper and deeper into the forest.

"Erm, I think so," Merlin frowned. "Why?"

"Well, we're not armed are we?"

_I have magic, _Merlin thought.

"So, if we're attacked by a serket or bandits or whatever, we couldn't defend ourselves," Morgana continued.

"Serkets usually come out at night though, so as long as we get to the druid camp by dark, we should be ok," Merlin reassured her.

"Good."

"And I can't really see any bandits attacking us, because we don't have any money."

Morgana let out a small laugh, but their pace quickened at the mention of serkets.

"Do you think all people with magic are evil, Merlin?" She asked, as the walking continued.

"What?" He choked out, the bluntness of the question still finding a way to cut into his skin.

"Do you think all people with magic are evil?" She repeated.

"Um, no." Was all he could think of to say.

"Why not?"

He had to give a reason?

"I don't think that anyone is born evil."

"Uther doesn't seem to think so."

"Well, you shouldn't listen to Uther."

Was there some anger in his voice or was it her mind playing tricks on her?

"You think Uther is wrong?"

"He isn't wrong, but it's just his opinion. And one man's opinion shouldn't be law."

"So, you think that there should be some sort of agreement, or vote, so that people who live in Camelot can decide the law?"

"Maybe. But who's side do you think they would choose?" Merlin asked.

"Uther's."

"And why Uther?"

"Because they fear him." She stated.

"Exactly."

"Do you think I'm evil, Merlin?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her.

"Don't you ever think that." He demanded.

She was shocked by the amount of anger in his voice.

"I'm sorry?"

"No, I am. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, my lady."

"Why do you always seem to call me that? Why not Morgana?" She was puzzled by his formality.

"Because you are a Lady and it it proper for me to call you that."

"But, it's not like anyone can hear you now," she frowned, "So why don't you just call me by my real name. It's easier."

"Easier for me, or for you?" He asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I can't imagine it's easy always being in the public eye and always having to look cheerful through those boring council meetings, is it?" Merlin explained, wary of her reaction.

"It's not _that_ difficult," She lied, "I just have to sit still and try to look pretty."

"You're right. Can't be that hard for you to look beautiful." He scoffed, before realising what he'd actually said.

Morgana blushed violently and looked the other way, while Merlin kicked at the leaves and cursed himself under his breath. They walked in silence for half an hour, both unsure of how to fill in the conversation, before a low growl decided make itself known from Morgana's stomach.

Merlin's head whipped round. "What the hell was that?"

"Nothing! I didn't hear anything?"

They walked for another few minutes, before the noise came again, louder this time. Merlin stared at her. Morgana felt her cheeks going red. _Again. _

"Was that your stomach?" He asked as he bursted into laughter.

"No..."

"Yes it was! You don't have to be embarrassed about it!" He laughed.

She smiled shyly. "I'm hungry."

"I can tell." He grinnned.

"It's not funny!" She hissed at him, as he continued to laugh. "I haven't eaten since yesterday!"

"Well, neither have I, but my stomach doesn't sound like a dying animal." He grinnned.

Morgana bit back a smile. "Do you know where we can get some food? Like berries and that?"

Merlin glanced up at the sky, where dark clouds were starting to gather. "I don't know. We could stop to find some now, but that will take time and it's going to get dark soon. Or we could wait until we get to the druid camp where they'll have food. So it's basically a choice between a possible encounter with serkets or going hungry for a bit longer. I'll go with your decision."

"Go hungry," Morgana decided and they kept on walking.

The heavens opened. The black clouds Merlin had spotted earlier had betrayed them and rain started to pour. In just a few minutes they were soaked to the skin. Thunder clapped overhead.

"Do you want to stop and find shelter?" Merlin shouted to Morgana over the noise.

"No, we have to keep walking!" She yelled back.

"But it's getting dark!"

"Exactly, we don't want to be out here when the serkets come out!" They continued to shout to one another because of the storm. They walked on, battling against the wind that was blowing the rain into their faces, when Merlin saw tents in the distance.

"There!" He pointed through the trees.

"Where?" She asked, trying to follow his finger.

"There! Where I'm pointing!"

"Where? Oh, there! Do you think it's the druid camp?"

"I hope so!"

They nearly sprinted towards the tents, the cold rain and tiredness forgotten.

**Hmm. Probably one of my best chapters so far, if you could call any of them good. :D Ummmmm... yeah. Thank you again to all my reviewers and followery peoples! I want to give you all hugs, but I can't. :(**

**Smeeeejjjooooop! (?)**


	8. Druids

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter! I want to hug you all! Pretty sure I said that last time... Um. Chapter 8.**

**I kind of wrote it backwards in the draft, so it might not make sense in places. Oh well. I'm sure you're all clever enough to figure it out. It's nice to know that someone is actually reading this! Sooooo, yeah. At least try and enjoy it! **

"What do you want to know?" Aglain asked her, as he handed Morgana another blanket to wrap around her shoulders. It had stopped raining now and the moon was shining through a flap in the tent.

She looked to Merlin, who was sat next to her, for support.

"Your dreams?" He prompted her.

"Oh, yes. When I have a dream - or a nightmare - I see things. And what I see almost certainly happens in the future. What does that mean?" She thanked Merlin silently with a nod of her head.

"It means you are a seer. You have visions, usually in your dreams, that can reveal events in yours and others futures." Aglain explained.

"Usually in dreams? So, I could have them in the day, too?" Panic took over her. What if she had a vision in public? In a council meeting? What if Uther saw? What would he do to her if he found out?

"It's very unlikely that you would," the druid tried to calm her, sensing her distress, "But it is possible."

"Is it magic?" She blurted out. It was the question she'd been dying to get an answer for.

Merlin fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat.

Aglain watched him out of the corner of his eye. "Who _are_ you?"

"He's my friend," Morgana said defiantly.

"I'm Merlin," he introduced himself. "I'm just a servant in Camelot."

"Just a servant? I get the feeling you are much more than that."

Morgana eyed the young wizard cautiously. Was it her imagination, or had the colour drained from Merlin's face? _Much more than that._ What on Earth could that mean? That Merlin wasn't a servant? Or did Aglain mean it about him being more than a friend to her? Well, that was absolutely, completely absurd! She'd never have feelings for Merlin? Would she?

"Anyway, is it magic?" She said loudly, not wanting the conversation, wherever it was going, any further. Aglain looked at her, puzzled. His earlier conversation with her all but forgotten.

"Of a kind, yes. But it will be many years before you can understand it, let alone control it."  
He explained. Merlin winced.

"But I can already use magic!"

Aglain frowned at her. "You know spells?"

"Well, no, but I set a candle alight in my room a few days ago." She said, excited for the first time at her new-found abilities.

"How?"

Oh. "Well, I just looked at it and the flame went higher." She felt stupid now for not having any evidence to back up her story.

Aglain took in the information and thought for a moment, before getting up. "I think we should call it a night. I'm sure you've both had a very tiring day." He said and exited the tent.

Morgana frowned as he disappeared through the fabric. "That was strange," she said, turning to Merlin.

He shrugged. "He's right though. We should get some sleep." He gestured towards the blankets.

There wasn't much room in the tent, but enough room for two people.

_Two people side by side, _Morgana thought.

"We can go top and tail, if you like?" Merlin suggested.

"I beg your pardon?"

He blushed. "Um, so our heads go at different ends."

"Oh. But then won't I have your feet in my face?"

"Yes." He stated.

"Well, no offence Merlin, but I don't really want your feet in my face."

"I don't really want yours in mine either." He grinned.

"Well, you'll have to put up with my face instead then," she smiled, starting to lie down and make herself comfortable.

"Erm, okay," he muttered, copying her actions.

They settled themselves, their faces inches apart. He could feel her warm breath on his cheek, their bodies touching. Morgana thought about Uther and what he'd do if he could see her now. How improper he'd think this was, sleeping next to a servant. Merlin met her gaze. Blue to green. Magic to magic.

He cleared his throat suddenly and sat up, finding a way to occupy himself by pulling another blanket over them and up to their chins.

"I always knew, you know." She said quietly, after he'd laid back down.

"Knew what?"

"That I was different. I mean, when I was younger, sometimes what I saw in my dreams came true, even then. But I was young and ignorant, so I thought nothing of it."

He'd rarely heard her talk about her childhood, but then again it hadn't exactly been a happy time for her.

"What sorts of things did you dream about? That came true, I mean?" He asked, intrigued by the story.

"Well, I remember once I had a dream that we were out riding and-"

"Who do you mean by we?" Merlin butted in. "No, I'm sorry it doesn't matter. Carry on."

"It was me, Arthur, Uther and my father." She said slowly, ignoring his request for her to continue.

"Oh," Merlin said softly, not sure how to go about the mention of her father.

"Anyway, um," Morgana blinked rapidly, not wanting to show weakness in front of Merlin. Again. "I dreamt that we were out riding and Arthur fell off his horse. And then the next day, we were out in the woods, when his horse got spooked by a snake and Arthur fell and broke his arm."

Merlin burst out laughing and Morgana shushed him, pressing a finger to his lips in the fear that he might wake someone.

"I'm sorry!" He half-laughed, half-whispered.

"It was pretty funny actually." Morgana agreed, a smile on her face. "I teased him about it for weeks, kept on telling him that her was so stupid he couldn't even ride a horse."

Merlin grinned at her. "How old were you?"

"Who, me? Oh, I was about 12, I think. Yes, 12 because I remember about 6 months later, it was when my father... passed on."

"I'm sorry." Merlin whispered, in a very different tone to the one he had used a few minutes ago.

"It's okay. It's been more than 10 years, now. I should be over it." She said harshly.

Merlin opened his mouth to try and get this weird sort of anger out of her, but Morgana stopped him.

"Anyway, enough about my father, what about yours?"

His heart dropped. "Um,-"

"I mean, why do you never talk about him?"

"Because I don't know anything about him."

Her expression softened as Merlin stared out of the flap in the tent at the stars and moon.

"Merlin?"

"I never knew him."

"Why not?" Morgana asked, already fearing the worst. "Did he, um, you know-"

"What die?" He cut in, turning back to her. "No, he left. Before I was born."

"I'm sorry. That can't have been easy."

"It wasn't," he sighed. "Especially for my mother."

"Do you know why he left?"

"Nope."

"Why don't you ask your mother?"

"I have."

"And?" Morgana asked expectantly.

"She just gets upset. Refuses to talk about it."

"Do you mind talking about it?" She asked, wondering what he felt about all of this.

"There's not much to talk about." He said sadly.

Morgana didn't think she'd ever seen him like this before. This was funny, silly, clumsy Merlin, not the distant, lonely person she was seeing now. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer into a hug. She felt him tense slighlty, before winding his own arms around her waist. This felt right,warm and safe. Like she belonged here, with him. She pushed the thought out of her mind.

"Goodnight Morgana," she heard him whisper.

"Goodnight Merlin," she whispered back, before falling into a deep sleep.

**Fingers ache from typing now :( Not sure about this chapter... seemed a bit meh. I dunno. Please review, especially if you can tell me what I'm doing badly so I can improve! :)**


	9. Fighting

**Hola! That is what I would say if I were Spanish. But I'm British so, spiffing day, what? Well, no it's been raining all day! Yay. Why am I writing about the weather? **

**Anywho. I've been noticing that my chapters are becoming more and more despicably boring so hopefully this makes up for it. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited or followed this story! I don't know why you read this, I wouldn't. Big thank you to Kamalackapacka who gave me inspiration for this chapter, and to SunnySmile2413 and DanRiddle for constantly reviewing this nonsense! :D**

"He is a traitor and a kidnapper."

"Father, we can't be sure."

Uther glares at his son. "_You _don't have to be, but _I _am. Your manservant has betrayed us."

"Just because we haven't seen him for a few days..." Arthur began, unable to finish.

"Just because? There is no other explanation! Your _slave_ has been in league with the druids all this time! It all adds up! I have always wondered how that young druid boy escaped from the dungeons last year, now the answer is clear as day!" The king is hysterical. HIs theory of this _boy_, Merlin, or whatever his name is, is right. He is always right.

Arthur sighs in defeat. He looks to Gaius, who is on the other side of the courtroom, for any sign of help, some way to convince his deluded father. It is only the three of them, the King, the Prince and the Physician.

"Do we know where these _druids_ are hiding?" Uther spits out the word as though it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Sir Leon has informed me of a trail leading to the Forest of Asiteer."

"Well then what the hell are you waiting for!? Morgana's life could be at stake!" Uther screams at him. Arthur has not seen his father like this for a long, long time. He is so angry, frantic almost.

"W-we will send out a search party at dawn."

"Good. I want you to kill them all. You shall have no mercy for the druids." Uther feeds him the poisonous commands.

"And Merlin?" The young prince is shocked by his father's rational decisions. And not for the first time in his life.

"Bring him back to me. Alive."

Something shakes her shoulder roughly, sending jolts through her body. Whoever is doing this is cruel. This is the best night's sleep she has had for over a year, she wants at least to wake up of her own accord. Slowly, the warm dark of sleep is pushed over by the cold light of day.

"Morgana." She is shaken again.

"What?" She mumbles grumpily. A hand is clamped against her mouth and her eyes quickly adjust at the threat of a possible attacker. The person turns to face her and she rolls her eyes at them as they remove their hand from her mouth.

"Was that really necessary?" She hisses to him.

Merlin nods silently, before peering out of the tent. Morgana sits up, curious of what he's looking at and why the hell he's woken her up for. He shifts over carefully, so that she can look. Except she can't see anything out of the ordinary. The druid camp. With no druids anywhere to be seen.

And then she spots it, out of the corner of her eye, a flash of red trying to blend in with the trees. She frowns and turns to Merlin for an answer.

He mouths the word "Knights."

Everything has suddenly become a lot more dangerous. They both turn back to the gap in the cloth, peering out into the forest. There are dozens of them now, Camelot's knights swarming the camp, swords unsheathed. One kicks at the cooled charcoal of the fire, another slashes away at some empty baskets, a place where a child might hide. One knight, a tall man with arms as big as the trunk of a tree, sword gleaming under the early morning sun, walks towards their tent.

Merlin grabs her shoulders and pulls her down, hopefully out of sight. Her heart pounds against her chest and she is pretty sure that she can hear Merlin's too. _Merlin._ If he is found, he will have no reason, no explanation of why he is here. _The druids. _What if they think she has betrayed them? Led the knights, and probably Arthur, although she hasn't seen him yet, to them?

She can hear footsteps now, heavy boots stomping through the leaves towards them. He must be only a few metres away now.

Morgana is reminded suddenly of her dream only a few nights before. The situation is the same. She can't run, she is trapped, with a monster getting closer and closer.

The knight is nearly upon them, when she hears a shout from the other side of the camp. Arthur. She'd recognise his voice anywhere, but she already knew he was here. If there are knights, then there's Arthur. And where there's Arthur there's Uther...

She feels herself dragged to her feet and out of the tent. The knight had clearly been as distracted by Arthur as she had, but not Merlin. He'd spotted their chance of getting away without their faces being seen and are now racing away towards the large crevice in the rock where the druid camp is situated. But they do not get very far before the knight that was by their tent yells that they are getting away.

There is a whooshing sound behind them and she feels Merlin stumble a little, but they carry on running. There are so many arrows flying around, Morgana finds it a miracle they don't get hit. She makes the mistake of looking back. The druids are out of hiding now. They aren't fighting at all, just trying to salvage what they have before it is all destroyed. Men are slashed to the ground. She is sure there are women and children on the floor already.

Merlin yanks her forwards, desperate to get them out of the crossfire. They finally get to the shelter of the rocks, crouching down and away from the battle. They can do nothing but watch until it is over, until only Aglain is left. He is brought to his knees in front of Arthur and Morgana realises that the prince has taken no part in this fight, his sword sheathed.

However, this does not last long and soon enough, Arthur's sword is hovering over Aglain's heart.

She turns to Merlin. "Surely he's not going to?" She asks him, with a mixture of horror and disbelief.

"You have been charged with treason and the capture of the Lady Morgana. Do you have anything you wish to say?" Arthur speaks for the first time since ordering his men to invade the druid camp. Aglain shakes his head and the sword is driven into his chest. Morgana opens her mouth to let out a cry, but Merlin stops her, pulling her into him, his jacket muffling her sobs.

"This is all my fault," she chokes out, not caring if anyone else hears. "If we hadn't of come here, this never would have happened." He rocks her slightly, a strong pang of guilt hitting him right in the heart.

"Step away from her." Arthur stands directly in front of them.

She hears Merlin curse under his breath, but he does as Arthur says. Morgana is helped to her feet and Arthur embraces her carefull.

"Are you hurt?" His voice is quiet.

"Not on the outside," she whispers, not wanting any of those stupid knights to hear _their_ conversation.

"You're safe now, Arthur tries to reassure her, although right now she feels that the safest place to be would be with the druids. Except there aren't any. Yet she nods, trying to go along with his, or mainly Uther's interpretation, of what has happened. Arthur gently hands her to one of his knights, one of his murderous, brutal, horrible knights, who wraps a cloak around her. Or tries to.

"I'm not cold." She wants nothing to do with their silly red cloaks and that stupid Camelot crest.

"My Lady, you should-"

"I don't want it," Morgana snaps.

She catches Arthur raise an eyebrow at her and scowls back. He frowns and turns his attention back to Merlin, who has been pushed to his knees in front of him, just as Aglain had a few minutes before.

No. Please not again. Merlin's done nothing wrong! He's Arthur's servant and friend, for goodness sake-

"Merlin, you also have been charged with the capture of the Lady Morgana and have been found guilty of working with the druids. You will be taken back to Camelot where you await a trial with the King, immediately.

That evil, stone-hearted, malicious, cruel man of a King! Only Uther could think of a story as ridiculous as that! She clenches her fists, making a mental note to punch Uther straight in the face as soon as they get back.

**Yeahhhh. Not sure about that one. Oh well.**

That was me slamming my face against my keyboard because I forgot to write in Mordred. Ugh, I feel so stupid. He can be in some other druid camp then :(


	10. Arguments

**Please don't hate me! I know I'm late but I started writing another story, so yeah. Phew. OH MY GOD MERLIN IS ENDING! NOOOOOOOOO! WHAT IS UP WITH THE BBC, EH? ARE THEY MAD? I'm seriously gonna cry at the last episode, mainly because it ended, but also because we didn't f*****g get Mergana! Ahhhhhh! Ok, rant over. Sorry if I offended anyone. Chapter 10! I'm hopefully going to be able to finish this by Christmas, or at least by the end of Merlin... :(**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. If I did there would be 20 series, not 5.**

"Arthur, I need to speak to you."

He rides a few paces ahead of her, the knights surrounding them for protection. Merlin is made to walk, his hands bound by a rope. Sir Thomas is on the other end of the rope and has _ever so kindly_ given up his horse for her. It still doesn't change her opinion of him since he helped to murder at least a dozen innocent people. Merlin lets out a small yelp as the knight yanks to cord forward, making the rope cut into her friend's wrists. She sees him smirk and he does it again.

"Arthur." She calls to him again, this time through gritted teeth.

"What?"

"I want to speak to you," she repeats.

"I know, you said that about 30 seconds ago," he says flippantly.

"You didn't answer."

"I didn't know I was supposed to."

Morgana rolls her eyes. She feels like they are children again, all the snide comments, bickering, or just plain ignoring eachother.

"Well, you were." She replies haughtily.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You can talk to me now, then."

Her heart sinks. "But I wanted-"

"Wanted what?" He huffs, she knows she is beginning to wear away his patience. She digs her heels into her horse's sides and it bucks forward, reaching Arthur in a few steps. He glances over at her, as if only really acknowledging her for the first time.

"Can we talk in private?"

He frowns. "Without the knights?"

_Well, duh. _"Arthur, please." Morgana is desperate for him to listen to her, she knows Uther won't.

He sighs and dismounts his horse, with the knights following suit.

"It's okay." Arthur taps his water pouch. "Morgana's thirsty. We were just going to fill it up."

The two walk away to a small clearing, about 50 metres away from the knights.

"Arthur look. Merlin hasn't done anything wrong, he was just trying to help me. He didn't kidnapp me and neither did the druids. I - we, went to them to find out what my dreams - to find something out. And then you came with the knights and then you killed all the druids for nothing and they all probably thought I was a traitor and I was leading you to them and then I thought you were going to kill Merlin because you thought he helped the druids and just please don't punish him Arthur."

It all comes out like a tidal wave of information and she stares at him expectantly, wondering what he will say. He says nothing. She feels like smashing her head against a brick wall. Of course he'd never understand. What a failure of a human being she is, getting innocent people killed and not even being able to save her friend.

"I know." Arthur says suddenly.

The two words haunt her as much now as they did the first time around when Merlin had said them to her, the lady snd the servant stood awkwardly in the physicians chambers.

"What?"

"Well, I knew that Merlin would never do anything to hurt you-"

"What makes you say that?" Her eyes narrow.

Arthur smiles slightly. "Oh, come on. Don't say it like you don't know."

"Don't know what?" She asks innocently.

"You know, Morgana, for a highly intelligent woman, you can be very stupid at times." He laughs.

"Well, I obviously don't know, so why don't you just tell me?" She demands.

"The boy's in love with you!"

"No he is not!" Morgana yells at him, not caring if the knights can hear her. Merlin does not love her! For goodness sakes, she can't go within 5 feet of a man without Arthur presuming they're courting! She'll admit that they've been getting closer, but only as friends, right?

"Yes he is! Morgana, a blind man could see it." Arthur interupts her of her thoughts.

She blushes. _Anyway._.. "So, if you knew Merlin wouldn't kidnapp me, then why is he being dragged along by a rope?"

The prince frowns at the sudden change of conversation, not able to keep up. "Merlin being dragged along by a rope? Oh, right, yeah, King's orders. I had my doubts with the druids as well, you know."

"I beg you pardon?"

"Well, I knew they would never attack or try to hurt anyone without reason and, I mean, they're a peaceful people anyway. And we helped them with Mordred, remember?"

She wants to scream. "So you _knew_ they didn't kidnapp me?"

"I had doubts." He says quietly.

"But you ignored them? So, in your eyes, the druids hadn't done anything wrong, but you had them all killed anyway?" Her voice rises in anger.

"I was only following the King's orders."

"You could've changed his mind-"

"I tried."

"You should have tried harder. If you knew it was wrong then why didnn't you put a stop to it!?" She catches him off-guard and shoves him. Hard. So much so, that he almost falls backwards.

"Morgana, please listen to me." Arthur pleads with her.

"I don't even want to look at you." She is being to hard on him, she knows, but she wants to be angry at someone, anyone. Tears streak down her face at the thought of the druids, the women, the children. All of them wiped out in under 5 minutes.

"Please don't cry." He walks forwards and tries to wipe the wet away from her eyes, but she smacks his hands away. He looks hurt. "Morgana...please?" She gives a quick nod and Arthur embraces her tightly. His cold chain-mail is harsh against her skin and she hates it, there is no emotion in the hug, not for her, anyway. Not like when Merlin hugs her, which is always comforting, safe and warm.

"I do have one question, though," Arthur says after pulling away. "Is that why did you go to the druids in the first place? What did you have to find out?"

**Oh dear, what a terrible chapter ending! I hope it's okay, I know it's not much after about two weeks, just Morgana and Arthur having a good ole chinwag in the woods. Um, yeah, it's really short but I did it in about an hour and it's rushed but who cares? Oh wait, you do. Oh, also I wasn't going to include the lovey dovey bit, but it seemed to fit okay. **

**Sorry if this chapter is a disappointment to you. You can:**

**1) Feel free to scream at me through a PM or review or whatever. **

**2) Or just tell me what to do to improve it!**

**Please choose the the second option, it makes me feel better. **


	11. This Is Real

**Only one, maybe two, chapters left after this! Unless I get a really good idea and decide to extend the story a bit but I probably won't. Thank you for all the amazing reviews, they honestly make my day! Also, big thank you to SunnySmile2413 for the big inspiration for this chapter! It's a bit longer than the last and I hope it's okay.**

**It starts straight off from the last chapter, a bit fluffy and cheesy in some points, but hey.  
I would've updated sooner but I had flu :(**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. **

"It doesn't matter," Morgana says quickly, trying to get off the topic.

"Well, it must be important if you came all the way out here to risk meeting with the druids. So please, tell me what it was. Did you get chance to find out?"

"Just about," she glares at him.

"And what was the answer," Arthur asks.

"Yes."

He sighs. "Alright, what was the question, then?"

"I can't say," she tells him, after a long pause.

"Why not?"

"It's a secret." It sounds childish, but she doesn't care.

"I'm good at keeping-"

"And you'll hate me." She cuts him off.

His face softens and his voice fills with sadness. "I'd never hate you. How could you ever think that I would? You're like a sister to me remember?"

"Of course I do," she reassures him. "I just don't think that that memory will be enough to stop you from hating me."

"Well, now you have to tell me. Please Morgana, what did you ask them?" He takes her hands in his in a small attempt to coax the information out of her. She'd known Arthur for as long as she could remember. If she could trust anyone, she could trust him. She takes a deep breath.

"Does Merlin know?" He questions her suddenly. "The secret, I mean."

"Um, yes, he does. But Arthur, before I tell you, you must promise not to tell anyone, do you understand? Not a single soul." Her face is so serious he almost laughs, but manages to hold himself together.

"Whose life do you want me to swear on? Mine? Yours?"

"Gwen's."

He looks at her in shock and then in suspicion.

"Guinevere? Why do you want me to swear on your maid's life?"

"Because you like her."

His cheeks turn red. "I do not, for-"

"Just swear on her life!" She hisses at him.

"Okay, okay," he huffs, holding his hands up as a surrender. "I swear on Guinevere's life not to tell anyone your secret. Happy?"

She nods slowly. "Okay. Right. You know about the nightmares I keep having?"

"No."

She rolls her eyes. "Well, I do. And in the dreams I see things and then those things happen in the future."

"What sort of things?" He asks in a disbelieving tone.

She racks her brains, trying to think of something fairly recent.

"Do you remember Sofia?"

"Yes." He says bluntly.

"Well, I saw her in a dream once. Except I had the dream the day _before_ she came to Camelot." She explains, although leaving out the bit about her trying to drown him. Merlin had reassured her that hadn't happened and that Sofia had just tried to elope with Arthur, but she had never really believed him.

"Oh, Morgana, that was probably just your mind playing tricks on you!" Arthur smirks.

"It wasn't! I know what I saw, Arthur! And that wasn't the only time either! I've had dreams about Cornelius Sigan, where I saw a crow, and about your fight with Valiant and-"

"Alright, alright! I believe you!" He says loudly and Morgana hisses at him to be quiet before she actually takes in what he says.

"Y-you believe me?" She stammers, if she can get Arthur to listen to her, then she might just have a chance with Uther and even in saving Merlin.

Arthur shrugs. "Well, if you say it's true.

"Yes! Yes, it is the truth, I swear!" She says exciteedly, confidence suddenly filling her. "Anyway, the point is, it turns out that the dreams are visions." She watches Arthur's unchanging expression. "I'm a seer."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arthur frowns.

"I have magic," she says softly.

He blinks. He laughs. She feels her shoulders sag.

"Come on Morgana," Arthur chuckles, turning around to walk back to the knights. "I think we need to get you back home. You're obviously very... upset."

She stays rooted to the spot. "Is this just some big joke to you?"

His brow crumples. "Well, that's what this is isn't it? A joke?"

Morgana shakes her head. "No," she whispers, "this is real."

His eyes harden and bore straight into hers. There is no escaping them. "You're a witch?"

Tears trail down her cheeks at what he has just called her, but she nods, silently.

"My father would kill you if he found out," he states, knowing Uther's hatred for magic better than anyone else.

"I know." She says sadly. "You mustn't tell him, Arthur, please."

He says nothing.

"Arthur?"

He turns his back and ignores her. "The knights will be wondering where we are," he says coldly and starts walking. She runs to try and catch up with him, to get him to understand, but he just brushes her off or walks faster everytime she comes into contact with him.

Merlin watches as they come back into view, with Arthur storming ahead and Morgana trailing weakly behind. They had been gone for over half an hour and he was beginning to get worried. Morgana's eyes are red... from crying? His mind reels with possibilities of what they may or may not have talked about. They mount their horses again and Arthur gallops ahead, seperate from the rest of the group. The knights take this as their signal to continue the journey and Merlin is pulled to his feet again, the pain in his arms starting once more.

It turns out that they do not walk for long, as Arthur demands that they stop for rest, as it is getting dark. Merlin hasn't seen him make any attempt of communication with Morgana since they set out to "fill up the water pouch." He seems to be avoiding her, or is trying to, and sleeps on his own, as if it is only him and the knights in the forest.

Merlin's hands are starting to go numb. They are still bound together and the rope has been wrapped several times around a tree, the bark digging into the backs of his hands. He lies there in the dark and the silence consumes him. He starts to hear the steady breathing and frequent snores of the knights as they fall asleep, their swords still held in their gloved hands. And he waits. Waits for the next day, when he will almost certainly be hung for the crimes Uther thinks he has comitted.

He does not worry for himself, but for Morgana and how she will cope with everything once he is gone. With her nightmares becoming more and more powerful, he wonders how long she will be able to keep her secret from the King. He wonders whether she will be lonely, with no-one else to know or understand who she really is. He has let her down and he knows it. He will happily admit it to everyone and anyone he meets. She would always unknowingly deny that he had failed her, but he knows that in just a few minutes and with just a few words, this whole thing could've been sorted.

If only he had told her. Then perhaps all of this could've been avoided. And now, because of his cowardice - and the bad advice he was given - he has gotten himself and maybe even the woman he secretly loves, killed. He smiles at the thought of her. Morgana. Her laugh, her green eyes, her smile- the real one, not the fake ones she reserves for Uther and his many feasts. He thinks of her long, dark hair and how it falls perfectly around her pale face. And of all her beautiful dresses, the green one, the white one - the red one she wore when he first saw her properly, not when she was hiding up by her window at the execution, or when she had undressed behind her screen because she thought he was Gwen. His memories of her soothe his frantic mind and after a while he manages to fall asleep.

Someone shifts beside him and something cool splashes onto his cheek. Merlin stays silent as his name is whispered close to his face. Soft hands loosen the ropes around his wrists and release him from the tree. He sits up slowly.

"Hello?"

"Merlin." He can just about make out her slim figure as she kneels next to him.

"Morgana, what are you doing?" They whisper to eachother in the fear that Arthur or the knights will wake.

"Helping you escape," she says, frowning at he fingers as they pick at the knots in the rope.

"Escape?"

"Yes. If you go back to Camelot Uther will kill you. I don't want him to kill you."

The ties come undone and he cups her cheek. "Why are you crying?"

She sniffs hard. "I'm not."

"Really?" He asks with a slight smile she can't see. "Because your eyes are wet."

"I'm just worried about you," she lies. Well, it's partly the truth but it isn't the only thing upsetting her.

"I'm sure there's more to it than that?"

"I told Arthur I have magic," she sighs and Merlin's eyes widen.

"And? What did he say?" He whispers urgently to her.

"Nothing. Well, at first he thought it was a joke and started laughing, but then I told him I was serious-"

"And?"

"And then he asked me if I was a witch and I said yes."

Merlin feels more tears come into contact with his thumb and he brushes them away gently, pulling her into a hug as they lean back against the tree.

"You're not a witch," he sighs as she rests her head into his chest, "you shouln't listen to him."

"I made him swear not to tell anyone, so as long as Uther doesn't find out for himself, I should be okay. Arthur knows you didn't kidnapp me, too, but I doubt Uther will listen." She pauses. "Which is why you have to get out of here."

"No." He disagrees. "No, I'm not-"

"Promise me?" She looks up at him with desperation in her eyes.

"Okay," he breathes.

"You have to promise."

"Promise," he agrees and kisses her forehead.

It is still a shock when she finds him gone in the morning and she realises that now she will have no idea where he is and how long he will be there. She won't know if he is hurt or wounded.

Arthur wakes and says nothing once he notices, just prolongs the silence between them. He tells the knights, who look thoroughly disappointed in the fact that they won't have someone to drag back on a rope, that it would be best to get her back to Camelot first and then send out patrols.

"You must be glad he is gone, Morgana." Arthur isn't looking at her, just speaking to thin air. Does this count as talking to eachother? She knows they must keep up with Uther's story in front of the knights.

"Yes," she says loudly. "At least I won't have to worry about _him _anymore."

**Tada! Probably my longest chapter... not that I count... obviously. I hope you liked it because i didn't. Do you think I wrote Arthur's reaction okay? Because i don't know. **

**Please review! I'm trying to get this story to 50 before I finish, hint-hint ;)**

**Any ideas and ways to improve would be FABulous haha. **


	12. Memories

**Last chapter! Thank you to everyone and anyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed this story - if it weren't for you I probably would never have finished this. Your support has been great and I really don't think I deserve it. Even so, it's been a pleasure writing this for you guys and I love you all for reading it!**

**Okay, I'm so sorry if this chapter doesn't live up to anyone's expectations, but I honestly couldn't think of another way to end the story. Please feel free to ask me any questions by once you've read it. Thank you!**

It had been two months now. Two whole months and she still hadn't seen him. After just a few days she had started to worry and now it had been eight weeks. She looks into the mirror as she sits at her dresser, the few candles alight in the room casting flickering shadows across her pale face, making the rings that hooded her eyes appear darker than usual. She clenches her hands in her lap, trying to force out the slight tremor they now held, caused by worry, guilt and tiredness.

The nightmares had returned the evening she got back to Camelot and they had become more vivid than ever. She had several every night now, the druids, Merlin and Uther all making their regular appearances.

Her finger nails have been bitten down to nothing, but her teeth always find something to gnaw on, be it the nail itself or the skin around it. Gwen had told her off a few days ago because she had made her thumb bleed, saying that it wasn't ladylike and her hands needed to look elegant for the ball tonight. She can hear the music, the laughter and the chatter from her chambers. Balls and feasts had been her most favourite thing as a child. Mainly because it meant wearing pretty dresses and frustrating Arthur as he tried to dance with her. She loved the different colours of the other ladys' gowns and how at each event she would always pick the dress she liked the most and then try to remember it.

She had refused this one, though. The thought of everyone asking her how she was, whether she wanted to dance and having to use that false smile (an expression she could just about still do) was almost unbearable. It hadn't been much of a fight, anyway. Uther had quickly agreed to her absence at the ball, of course, not wanting his strong, independent ward to be presented as a frail, young girl. After all, he had a kingdom to 'protect' and her looking so fragile could make the enemy think that he was weak too, which could mean a possible attack on Camelot.

She wasn't exactly sure who the enemy was, but she knew Camelot must have a lot of them. Like Lady Catarine. On the morning she had been supposed to get married to Uther, her body had been strangely found in a sty under the castle. Uther was heartbroken - his beloved wife-to-be he had known for days, murdered and cruelly taken from him, or words to that effect. After that, a rumor had been started that Catarina was actually a troll, but she really couldn't care less if Uther had been about to marry a beast or not.

Arthur still hadn't spoken to her since she had revealed her magic to him. Well, he made idle chat with her in front of Uther, just so he didn't suspect anything, but only things about how the weather was today, a new tournament was coming up and was she enjoying the food?

Although, one night, when she'd had a particularly horrific nightmare, he had comforted her. He'd come barging through the door with a sword raised upon hearing her scream, only to find her clutching her bed sheets, her eyes wide with terror. He had hugged her stiffly and wiped the tears away, but didn't didn't soothe her with any words of comfort or reassurance. And then after a few minutes, he just left. She had tried to stop him wanting him to talk to her, but he just ignored her pleas as he walked swiftly out of her chambers. He must've told Gwen about the nightmare, however, as the next day her maid had told her that she realised how traumatic her experience with the druids must have been, because of the increasing nightmares.

And that made her angry that everyone, except Arthur, thought that the druids were the bad guys. It made her regret helping Merlin escape in the first place, because now it looked as though he was actually guilty, which meant that Uther had put out more patrols to try and find him and he had given the order that knights or guards should kill him on sight, anyone else should hand him in straightaway.

"Will that be all, my lady?"

She looks up at the mirror and sees Gwen standing awkwardly in the background.

"Yes, thank you, Gwen," she replies quietly, not turning around around to face her, only looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like me to stay for a while? I don't mind."

"No," she forces a smile. "You should go. Enjoy the feast."

Gwen nods, blows out the candles and gives a small curtsy, before clicking the door shut as she leaves.

She allows herself to be consumed by the silence once more, before she undresses slowly and puts on her night gown, falling into bed. She knows she will not sleep for at least a few hours yet, the music and talking will keep her awake, but maybe she can try and get some rest. She manages to drift off at some point, but is woken when her door creaks open, light spilling onto her bed and face. She turns to face the intruder.

"I know it isn't really you," she whispers sadly.

"It is me," he says and steps into the room, locking the door behind him. Everything goes dark again, so he lights a candle so that she can see him properly again.

"No, it isn't," she shakes her head as he continues to keep a distance between them. "You're not really here."

"I promise I'm real. This isn't a dream, Morgana."

She smiles sadly at him. "You say that everytime. And everytime I reach for you, but you are just thin air. I can never touch you."

"Well, come here then," he says softly but she refuses. "Please? Don't you trust me?"

It is always the hurt and promise in his voice that makes her go to him. The guilt builds up and she cannot resist. She so desperately wants him to be here, not in a dream or a memory. She sits up, swings her feet out of her bed and slowly walks towards him. Reaching out, she cups his cheek with her hand and it feels warm to touch. He doesn't do anything, just stands completely still.

"Merlin?" She whispers in disbelief and he smiles back at her. Her knees buckle and she grabs hold of his jacket as they both crumple to the floor. He hushes her as she sobs, cradling her fragile body into him while brushing her hair out of her face. "I thought y-you were d-dead," she manages to choke out. "I thought-"

"Shh, please, Morgana, it's okay," he tries to calm her but it doesn't work.

Her voice turns cold suddenly and scrapes over his skin. "No, Merlin, it's not okay. You've been gone for two months and I had no idea where you were, if you were hurt, I had no idea if or when you were coming back. Arthur still won't talk to me, Gwen just babbles on about nothing, Gaius ignores me, Uther would kill me if he knew who I really was and he wants your head on a spike... Do you know how lonely it's been? I just feel so tired and sick and worried all the time." Morgana had tried to be angry with him, but in the end it had all come out as a rush, her emotions taking over.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers and feels his own tears burn into his cheeks. He sniffs hard and wipes his eyes on his sleeve, determind not to look too weak in front of her. "Have you been eating properly?"

"Yes," she lies, but the flimsy nightgown does not serve well in hiding her small frame.

His fingers curl around one of her delicate wrists, as though taking a measurement. "You're making yourself ill," he sighs and stands up, helping her to her feet. He walks over to her table, where untouched food from earlier is still piled. He pulls out a chair and she sits on it. He takes a seat on the other side of the table, so that they are facing eachother. He tears off a chunk of bread from a nearby loaf, putting it down in front of her. She stares at it.

"You're supposed to eat it," Merlin enlightens her and she shakes her head, so he nudges it closer. "Please, Morgana? You're wasting away."

"Only if you tell me where you went and what happened in the two months you were away."

"Done," he agrees and she tentatively picks up a piece of bread, turning it over several times in her hands before taking a small bite. "Where would you like me to start?"

"After I helped you escape. Where did you go?" She asks, wiping her tears away before shoving more bread into her mouth.

"I waited until you fell asleep and then ran off in the opposite direction of the camp. I think I got about five miles in the dark and then I slept in a tree at dawn and then when I woke up at about noon, I stated walking again. I did that most days, if I'm honest, apart from when I saw the knights in the forest, then I just hid in the caves and the rocks for a few days," he explains.

"You didn't go back to Ealdor, did you?" She frowns.

"No, I knew Uther would look for me there, so I stayed away."

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Good, because Uther sent out a spy to the village to see if you were hiding there. I was so worried."

"I didn't know the King was so keen to spend his resources on finding me," His brow crumples.

"It's terrible," she says quietly. "He ordered everyone in a council meeting to hand you in immediately if they saw you. Everyone thinks that you're a traitor and you'll do anything for money. That's what Uther says - that the druids paid you to kidnap me."

They fall into a silence and he stares at the table while she continues to eat.

"So why aren't you at the feast, then?" He asks her after she has finished.

"I just feel tired and I don't think I can face all the people and the questions and the talking," she replies and then gives a small yawn to back up her theory. "Uther seems keen to keep me out of the limelight as well. Is that why you came tonight? Because you knew it was on?"

"Actually, I had no idea, but it meant a lot less sneaking around," he smiles and she finds the strength to return the gesture. Footsteps scuttle outside, followed by slurred words and laughter. Eventually, it fades. "I think I should go soon," Merlin says quietly and stands again, pushing his chair back under the table.

Her heart sinks. "What do you mean, go?"

"Well, I can't exactly stay, can I? The whole of Camelot wants me dead for supposedly kidnapping you and working with the druids, it's not as though I can just move back in with Gaius and start my job as a servant again."

"Where will you go, then? Back into the forest?" She stares at him as he nods. He could still manange his destiny from afar - he had snuck into the castle a few weeks ago and killed the Lady Catarina while she slept to stop her from becoming Queen. The Great Dragon himself had yelled at him in his sleep, telling him to get back to Camelot and put an end to that monster, or else. He looks up to see her now standing as well, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'll miss you," she whispers and embraces him tightly, not wanting to let go. "You won't be gone long, will you? And you will come and visit me?"

"I don't know how long. A few months? Half a year? A year?" He shrugs.

"A year?!" She looks at him incredulously. "Merlin, if this is what I'm like after two months, what am I going to be like after a _year_?"

"Exactly," he sighs, "which is why I have to wipe your memory."

"She takes a step back from him and then laughs.

"Oh, really, Merlin? What are you going to do, hit me over the head with a saucepan?"

"Not quite."

"Well, what are you going to use then? Magic?" She smirks, but her eyes widen when he stays silent. "So," she begins harshly. "Were you ever going to tell me you had magic or were you just planning to make me suffer?"

"No, I didn't-" Merlin starts.

"Didn't what?" She snaps angrily and he almost flinches.

"I wanted to tell you, but I knew you would be too hurt and angry. And then it got to the point where we were too close for me to tell you because I knew you would hate me," he explains to her and that is the truth.

"Why are you telling me now, then?" She asks, her eyes narrowing.

"Because you won't remember."

"So that's why you're making me forget? Because you're too cowardly to let me know who you really are?" She glares at him, her green eyes piercing into his own blue ones.

"No. I'm doing this to try and help you! If you remember, you'll keep having all the nightmares... you're making yourself ill!"

"What are you going to make me forget?" She asks in a timid voice, fear now evident on her face.

"Me."

She stumbles backwards and tries to get away, but he is too fast, and grips her shoulders before she can get very far.

"I'll scream," Morgana threatens as she struggles against him.

"What so that Uther can have me executed? Nice one," Merlin says as he fights to hold on to her.

"Yes, well, I'd rather remember that you're dead than forget that you are alive," she hisses and regrets it almost immediately. He releases his grip on her shoulders and stands away from her.

"Do you really mean that?" He whispers.

"No," she shakes her head. "I just - please, Merlin, I don't want to forget. I can deal with the nightmares, I'll be fine. Please?" She gives him a desperate, pleading look.

"I have to do this, I'm sorry," he says, his face hardening.

"I won't let you," she tries again.

"I'm so, so sorry, Morgana. But you really don't have a choice."

The palms of his hands connect with her temples, holding her face firmly, but gently as he begins to chant the spell. She thrashes and kicks at him, to get him to see sense, to try and escape, but he only speaks faster and his grip tightens.

"Merlin, please."

He shakes his head and continues the spell.

"No, Merlin, please, I lov-"

"Adilegian ðy hyge," he finishes and her body goes limp as he catches her. "I'm so sorry," he whispers to the unconscious woman in his arms. He scoops her up and lays her in her bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin. "I'm sorry," he repeats, again and again, tears streaming down his face. She looks so peaceful now, so at rest. He finally manages to tear his eyes from her and gives her hand a squeeze before he blows out the candles, the room dissolving into darkness. He gets to the door and then looks back at her once more, before exiting her chambers, the castle and then walking out into the night.

**Thank you for reading.**


End file.
